Wednesday, June 6, 2012

NO! Love

I remember that night like it’s happening right now.

I’m at the store picking up something for dinner. I’m pretty excited at the prospect of us getting to do it after five days at her place and still ‘no action’. Well it’s not like there hasn’t been any action, it’s just that we never get past second base. The night before was the closest I got to nuggies, she wouldn’t let me to though as soon as I got my hand inside her panties, the kissing got more passionate and she moaned and writhed with pleasure. The moment I tried to mount, she lost whatever pleasure she was feeling and pushed me off. This left me disappointed.

Whilst lying down in the living room that night before, (she insisted on us sleeping in separate rooms ever since I got there) my conversation with Seun replayed in my mind. I had brought up the subjects of her blocking my moves and our sleeping arrangement the last time I met up with my friend Seun, who I believe has more experience when it comes to dealing with women. Something he said kept replaying in my mind as I lay on the couch. According to him, “Women in general love the dance……sometimes they want to test how long you can withstand the game. Besides, their ‘no’ usually means ‘yes’ but only a man with balls can discern this fact.”

Anyway, today is a new day and I’ve got a feeling tonight’s going to be a good night, so I thought that night. I have a plan to charm her with my thoughtfulness and sensitivity so I’m going to have dinner ready before she gets back from work. She probably might be saving the best for last, too, because she knows I’m leaving tomorrow. I mean, before last night, I didn’t go past second base and the first night I was here, she only let me kiss with strict instruction that should I fondle with any part of her body, I wouldn’t get anymore action. I’m making pasta and tuna sauce with extra spice. We’ll have this with the bottle of red wine and bucket of KFC I bought. I hope this proves to her that I’m paying attention and am willing to go all the way. So my thoughts were that night.

At a quarter past seven, dinner was finally ready. Guessing she’d be home very soon, I went ahead and set the table. Isn’t this romantic? What woman could resist this sort of treatment from the man she loves and whom she knows loves her without a doubt? I kept enthusing.

The night’s dinner was a romantic affair as we touched on the basis of our love all over again. Then came the night’s final agenda. We were on the couch, both barely clothed, watching TV when I made my move. I sleep in my boxer shorts so I had just that on and she had on a big tee shirt and her panties. We began making out and at some point I had her pinned to the couch. Despite her objection, I slid her panties to the side and released my manhood. Sensing what my intent was, she struggled frantically but her resistance couldn’t contend with my strength. Finally I penetrated and had my way. After the 3 minutes of craziness, the magnitude and implication of what I did finally dawned on me.

I lost her love and the comfort of her home that night because she threw me out.

Initially I thought she was just posturing by acting like I had really hurt and violated her but when I kept calling, trying to get across to her and she just kept blocking my moves and avoiding contact with me, I started realizing something. It’s true that there are some girls (some might call them teases) out there who will lead you on and send twisted messages across that will leave you wondering if they mean yes or no. What you don’t want to do is let it slip with the girl you ought to be with because you can’t discern the game type from the keep type.

She has since forgiven me but I’ve still never been able to get anywhere close to her. Some five years later I gave her a call during the yuletide holiday to wish her a happy new year in advance. At some point during the conversation, I said something like ‘I still love you and I want us to cultivate a relationship that can lead to the altar’. It was like an invitation for a predator to attack because she unleashed some venomous words on me. She reminded me of how I took advantage of her that fateful day and even questioned the guts I had to talk to her about love. This was five years after. Wow! She really must have meant that “NO!”

Date rape is a constant occurrence in every day Nigeria. The victims include young ladies and even house wives. These people never come forward to report the incidences because of the stigma attached to such occurrences. The society on its part condones such behaviors as the few cases that have been reported have been resolved with the perpetrators getting away with light punishments and in most cases they’ve been able to go unpunished. The punishment attached to this crime in the constitution is either not severe or the interpretation of the law is convoluted.

Date rape is a form of rape where the perpetrators and the victims are people that are familiar with themselves, usually they are lovers, friends, and in some cases married couples.

This piece is inspired by the sufferings of those that have had to endure the pain of being victims. Please speak out!!!

1 comment:

Jarnalina Katrina said...

Bravo! Thank you so much for choosing to write on this topic and for advocating for women. It's not just rampant in Nigeria, my friend. Whatever awareness can be raised throughout any culture is a step forward for women everywhere.