Monday, April 11, 2011

My companion

Our history goes as far back as I can remember. Ever since I was old enough to walk we have been together. My trusted friend who always spoke to me. The closeness of our friendship qualifies either of us to refer to the other as companion. You knew what I thought at all times. The custodian of my dirtiest secrets that never snitched on me. Though you never told on me for my misdemeanor, you still were honest enough to rebuke me before I took any step that usually always end in regrets. You were the voice of reason in my head that I grew to resent.
Though I compromised the standard you knew I possessed, you remained steadfast. Our arguments and misunderstandings always emanated from my moral decadence. You urged me to think about the consequences of actions before I exercise my right of choice. I refer to you now as past because I resented the role of guidance you assumed in my life and ultimately let the resentment destroy our friendship.
You didn’t see it coming when I struck the death blow that silenced you completely, eventually. Maybe you saw it coming but decided to withstand the pain of my betrayal as a sacrifice to our friendship. I look back now with regrets after realizing that the best times of my life were in your company.
I finally silenced you and had peace or so I thought. In your absence, I got mixed up with bad company. I made choices and decisions that always got me into trouble. In the absence of your guidance, I was like a blind man groping around in the dark. My new friends offered nothing in terms of quality advice. When the deeds were done, I took all the stick for the actions. But then, I didn’t mind as I felt better than the guilt you always made me feel.
The cost of losing your friendship can be estimated as the lowest point of my life. My credibility became as low as could be, as I had mastered the art of betrayal of trust. My life became lonely despite my having so many new friends around me. I sat in my room on one of those days, wondering how my life took such a drastic turn for the worse. I used to be the pride of my parents but now the scorn of the community. I used to be revered as a bright prospect but now I’m compared with miscreants and the like. All former of the instances stated above, was when I had your friendship. I regret ever silencing you as I now crave for your counsel. Even if I can bring you back to life, how do I transform the antecedents and reputation I developed during the years without you into positive commendations?
I miss you, I need you, I want you to return. I want us to go back to the days of our friendship. My dearest friend, CONSCIENCE.