IS LOVE EVER ENOUGH? Pt. 2

So I cheated on Stella that weekend, with her friend Tracy. Ever since the incident, I had been trying to redeem myself subtly by being extra caring and loving despite the fact that Tracy didn’t tell her. We, me and Stella, had been having a good time since the infidelity incident until December when a late night call from Stella kicked off another bout of drama. What actually happened was that I said some trash about my relationship to the caller (who was actually my girlfriend, Stella). I was sleep talking and didn’t know it was Stella calling. In my own words, here’s what I said; “My relationship with the girl has gone sour.” Stella held on to these words and December was so much hell that year, I wasn’t looking forward to resuming school in January ’07.

January came and we were barely talking. Tracy resumed her role as confidant and companion during this period. I don’t know what they spoke about but she never mentioned our rendezvous to Stella. Somehow, things got better and by February 14th of ’07, we were back together fully and she spoiled me with all sorts of gifts to commemorate not only lovers’ day, but also our anniversary together. Little did I know she had been seeing a dude called Mohammed since January of 2007? Five days after our anniversary, she broke up with me. We were in love but we were separated.

She continued seeing the Mohammed dude and I met a couple of interesting ladies myself, but for the period of 3 months that we were separated, we never stopped loving each other. By the end of May, we got back together. How? I really don’t remember but it was inevitable. Upon getting back together, we confessed each other’s sins. She revealed hers and I revealed mine, holding back the details of that weekend with Tracy. In our bid to try and figure out what went wrong, we decided to take a big step, i.e. we started indulging in sex (she was a virgin all along), thinking a major commitment and compromise such as this would bring us closer than ever. So she gave it up to me and I, in return, loved her more fervently. I confessed everything to her, told her about every girl I’d slept with since I met her, all except Tracy. I mean, you can’t blame me because I knew It would all be over if I told her and I just wasn’t ready to lose her.

Our love had taken a turn for the better at this time. We communicated so well that she knew me inside and out. I knew her, too. Subconsciously, we started a new trend of paying back. I.e. whenever I did something I knew she wouldn’t like, she’d do something she knew I wouldn’t like to pay me back. This pattern continued until summer of 2008. We got into a heated argument that resulted in a serious showdown. I was so angry that had I seen her, I’d have gone animalistic, possibly physical on her. Some days after this showdown, we bumped into each other at an event. I was in the company of Tracy and James (they were dating the whole while) and she was in the company of another one of her sidekicks as well as 2 handsome-looking young men, one of which was an acquaintance of mine. At some point during the course of the how, I couldn’t bear it anymore so I approached her. We kind of apologized to each other. Now I wasn’t about to let my girl go home with another man in my presence so I insisted on taking her home with me. She concurred and requested that I be polite by informing her male company that I’d be taking charge of her welfare from then on. I did as she requested only for me to return to the spot where we’d been standing to find her absent. That night I tried calling her over 30 times but she didn’t pick my calls. I guess she went for the killer blow.

The next morning I called her to confirm that she was alright and nothing was wrong with her. I stayed back an extra day before returning to school, and upon entering the school campus, she was the first person I saw. Immediately after I saw her, she started crying. I was moved by the tears but then I was hurt from her antics the prior night so I ignored her. She spent the whole week trying to make it up to me but when I didn’t budge, she made arrangements for us to leave school at the weekend. Looking back now, I think I took the whole situation too personally and dissed her badly that weekend. We returned to school the same except for the fact that I had clicked on the self-destruct button. Regardless of the fact that I knew I loved her, I broke up with her and we both became emotional wrecks on campus. Everybody in school knew something was up with us. With time we got over each other, or so we thought, because one year later, we got back together for a brief one-month fling. We’ve been very good friends ever since but we try not to hang out because we always get emotionally entangled when we do. Deep within me, I know a part of me still loves her and sometimes when I hear her talk, I feel the feeling is mutual. We’ve been able to avoid getting back together somehow, though.

At some point during the roller coaster ride of our relationship, we had a very deep conversation and the question surfaced, ‘is love ever enough?’ I responded in the negative using our own experience as a point. She agreed with my response stating the fact that she loved me and knew I loved her, too, but still things didn’t work between us, no matter how hard we tried. To my credit, I finally confessed the dark secret about the weekend with Tracy and my Stella forgave me. I wonder if they are still friends. So, what do you think? Is love ever enough? Really…..