A GUIDE TO HEALTHY DATING IN THE 21ST CENTURY

there has never been an authority on the subject of love. we all at some point in our relationships with people we care about, even family, have felt the hurt this sentimental feeling exposes us to. in my short live so far, i have seen people respond to this hurt by vowing not to ever love again. only for them to fall right back in with someone else and in some instances with the same person that caused the hurt initially. personally, i've been in more than one relationship with someone i felt was the one.
since the fact has been established that by virtue of our nature as humans we will always be susceptible to emotional dependence on another, we have to figure out a way to make it last or atleast choose the right other we will be emotionally entangled with. most have failed whilst the few that have succeeded have done so subconsciously.
being a conscious mind, i have thought up these tips i hope will help if not everybody, one person. this is not an assurance that you will find true love but they are logical guides to avoid hurt in your pursuits of love and happiness, enjoy.
#1) look for honesty: lies hurt more than the truth we try to conceal by telling them. a relationship founded on truth and honesty allows for the development of understanding but above all it allows either party know where they stand with the other.
#2) discard stereotypes: it is essential that you enter into a relationship with an open mind as stereotyping might cloud your sense of judgment and impair the way you see things in the other.
#3) play your role right and protect yourself: it is true that love entails giving, but compromising your principles and point of view to placate the other's needs will only reflect your desperation to please. a character trait that indicates you have no respect for yourself, trust me the other won't have any for you either. this is not to say that there are no situations when a bit of compromise is required from either party, not just you.
#4) avoid using the L word unless you mean it: be sure of what you are into before prophesing your love as letting another know you love them so much will not necessarily make them love you as much or at all in return
#5) look for intellect as well as beauty: people naturally have respect for and look forward to interactions with others that have something to offer, i am not talking materially here. emphasizing on the beauty might seem shallow to you but truthfully, how can you be attracted to something or someone that is not pleasing to your eyes. physical attraction usually is the first point that pricks your interest in a stranger
#6) avoid extremes: too much of everything is not good. too much attention, too much calls, too much demands, etc and the whole arrangement starts to seem like a burden
#7) observe dating patterns: please do not let emotions and sentiments cloud your logic. regardless of the fact that there is no authority on the subject of love, how we feel or rather how the other makes you feel is a clear indication of how they value you. if making you feel not good is becoming rampant, you should call some time on the arrangement to set priorities right. this is not to say that you should start breaking up at every flimsy provocation
#8) don't over spend to impress: a simple question should explain this. would you rather be loved for being yourself or for what you have to offer?
#9) safe sex: i am not promoting the notion of premarital sex but we as humans are slave to feel and sometimes can't battle the urge to indulge. practicing safe sex guaranties that there wont be complications in the event that the relationship doesn't work. trust me complications is what you want to avoid
#10) have a good time: when a relationship comes to an end, all you have is memories. love and live life to the fullest. bear in mind that moderation is the key to having a good time

25 THINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE BY THE AGE OF 25

So, i turned 25 last week and somewhere in the midst of the birthday wishes i got lost in thought. it started off as a reminisce of my journey so far, then it turned into a self assessment session. when i finally came back to, i realized am a work in progress though am not where i ought to be yet and far from where i want to be, the good thing is i'm well on the way. i ended up compiling a list of 25 things a progressive mind like YOU and i should have by age 25. enjoy
1) A resume: a profile of jobs you can fit into
2) A savings account: haba! That’s the least you can have
3) A good job: that’s what people do when they grow up, work!!
4) A good friend: arguably the hardest thing to come by
5) A dream: not the one you have when you sleep, the one you have that makes you not want to sleep
6) A belief that you can achieve whatever you set your heart to: founded on the awareness of your potentials
7) A big heart: being charitable doesn’t end at giving materially, it also includes receiving others’ crap
8) A realization that one woman/man is enough: if you have two, you’ll still want one more
9) A sense of pride: pride here is talking about a good feeling about your heritage
10) A sense of responsibility: responsibility simply means being accountable for your actions
11) A good hair stylist: we can’t over emphasize the importance of appearance
12) A voters registration card: besides the fact that only grownups can own them, you should have a say in matters that affect you.
13) A little brother: a protégé, someone that looks up to you for direction and guidance
14) A sense of direction: an idea of what you want from life
15) A good sense of timing: timing is almost everything
16) At least, a post high school certification: the biggest room in life is the room for self improvement
17) A realization that friends come and go: this is a function of change
18) A set of dating rules and standards for courtship: part of growing up is knowing what you want
19) A healthy spending and saving habit: it’s called handling your business
20) A strong spiritual base: by now you should have sorted out the question of faith
21) A good sense of humor: growing up shouldn’t be so intense that we will forget how to enjoy a good laugh
22) A defined social circle: how and who do you roll with? Take note that it has nothing to do with your financial status
23) A relaxation routine: very necessary for creative minds
24) A stable relationship: for focus’ sake at the least
25) Real life experience: you have been around for 25years right?

RETROSPECTIVE THOUGHTS OF A NAUGHTY BOY

i used to think that i can make folks like me or better still make them kinda fear me
they used to dread me and i thought it a good thing
the kid with the attitude, no one ever knew me
i just revealed bits of me and made me a puzzle, but all that's past now
though at times i wanna smack cats that try to act up when i'm try to show love
it's really so not cool when you're being put down
a taste of the medicine i cooked up made ma face just squeeze up
i feel i never should have let ma guards down cause now even clowns take shots at me
really so into me, i forgot the meaning of sacrifice
my pride above ma head made me act the way i think, a bad guy should
how can i let you make me feel so less of me?
acting like i had power but i misapplied the laws of power
i couldn't see beyond the cheap schemes i thought the whole world had corroded values
i still don't know different but i pray some day i know better
i keep striving towards perfection, a destination i see at the end of the tunnel
but every time i think i've reached it, it turns out what i thought was the light
is just someone lighting a joint or something
the distance is not a challenge, it's just a test of my resolve
the endurance is a measure of my mettle
the person lighting the joint is the temptation to abandon redemption
i think am beat now cause i've been going it my own way
so i try a new strategy and seek the superior being for direction
he told me i only had to look within me and i'll know if i'm on

20 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER APOLOGISE FOR..

in no particular order, i've put up a list of 20 attributes that make you YOU. apologising for these will mean you're apologising for being the person that you are.
1) never apologise for being you; this is not to say you should shun self improvement and go about portraying those bad habits that you have without remorse
2) never apologise for pursuing what makes you happy; if you cant make yourself happy by indulging in activities that make you happy, who would make you happy?
3) never apologise for being successful; anybody that has a qualm with your success is a hater and what you have to say to them is not sorry, it is bye HATER!!!
4) never apologise for being frugal; i mean, if you run into debts for trying to fit in, who's going to pick the bills? YOU
5) never apologise for changing your mind; it is a reflection of your discerning analytical mind. the ability to reflect and at once identify an error in your initial judgement, and above all, the modesty to own up and switch stance
6) never apologise for treating yourself to something nice; you can only teach others how to love you when you know how to love yourself
7) never apologise for your fashion taste; that's your style, only people with a strong sense of personal identity have them, others just go with the trend
8) never apologise to your new friends about your old friends; the old friends have been around for a while and though you might not be able to place it, there's something about them you love having around you.
9) never apologise for your body size; we all can't be tyson beckford or jessica biel
10) never apologise for an open show of emotion; it's healthy for the soul
11) never apologise for your intelligence; keeping it real and being sociable does not require you to be dumb
12) never apologise for your choice of partner; only you know what you want, go for it
13) never apologise for what you want in bed; you have to look out for your business right? lol!
14) never apologise for your decisions; it's your life and mistakes teach you how to make better decisions next time
15) never apologise for insisting on safe sex; you dont need a list of all that can go wrong, do you?
16) never apologise for your principles; only you know your true potentials
17) never apologise for failed relationships; they just weren't meant to be
18) never apologise for what and how much you eat; good thinking is aided by healthy feeding
19) never apologise for where you come from
20) never apologise for just saying NO

statistics on life

They ask me how i know what i know about life?
what i know about life, i have learnt from my failures
i hate gambling cos i think the odds is against the gambler
what i didn't know is that from the day of any human's birth,
we've been dealing against the odds of making good off life like we're in a casino
the stats are really dreadful if you look at the figures
50% says that the smart guy with talent in anything at all would make it
but if you put in the reality of the situation,by situation, i mean constraint and adversity
then you can make that 30
the average dude with nothing exceptional has got a tenth of that, which is 3%
and with mother luck's generosity his chances are raised to 5
the guy with nothing to offer would surely never make it
unless something unusual happens like some unknown rich relative of his makes him
a beneficiary of their estate without his knowledge, but still at that
i've seen diamonds as large as a cell block or it's cash equivalent slip through the palms like rice grains
welcome to the real world. life is not fair they say, yes! it's dark and full of grime
as well as some spots that look like eczema on an ebony skin
this makes the view on life aesthetically unpleasing
but really some people have got it good and pay for it in other ways
sometimes to make a headway you have to ignore the map thrown in your lap
opportunity meets preparation is my definition of luck
he's been prepared all his life but the opportunity to showcase his skills never just come
like an army platoon put on red alert in case of a war that never got fought
but we don't stop paying the wages of the military because there's no war on the horizon
the moral of this piece is that success and happiness in life is not a measure of how much
remember the folks that have it good and pay for it in other ways
92% of the world's population fall in the 5%ers, you won't believe this
92% of the world's 'happy' population fall in the 5%ers. outrageous right?
my charge to you is, do something positive, love and live life to the fullest.